Intervention Letter Tips & Example

Interventions are an incredibly emotional time. Not only are we confronting our loved ones about a debilitating addiction, but somehow we have to maintain our composure throughout the event to get our point across. One of the most effective ways to ensure you get that point across is to write an intervention letter.

No matter how well you know your friend, sibling, parent, significant other or child, you can never be quite sure how they will react to an intervention, especially if they’re still under the influence. This means interventions must be handled very carefully if you want them to succeed. You can use multiple formats, but we highlight some key parts of an intervention letter and give an example for you to follow.

The Purpose of an Intervention Letter 

Intervention letters have a few distinct purposes. The first is to help you keep your composure, so you can remember to say everything you want to. Emotions run high, and it can be easy to forget the one heartfelt story you truly wanted to share. A letter provides a script to keep you on track.

Intervention letters from those unable to attend the intervention meeting can also be read aloud to allow those individuals to participate. Sure, reading an intervention letter from another person isn’t as powerful as reading your own letter during the meeting, but the more help you have presenting your case, the better.

How to Write an Intervention Letter to Someone with an Alcohol or Drug Addiction 

When writing an intervention letter, it is important to come from a place of care and concern and avoid blaming or ridiculing your loved one. These steps can help you to learn how to write an intervention letter that achieves its intended purpose of convincing your loved one to seek help for addiction.

1. Start With a Statement of Compassion

It is normal for someone with an addiction to feel ashamed of themselves and become defensive when confronted about their substance misuse. This makes it important to start with a statement of compassion, so your loved one does not feel attacked and shut down when hearing your letter. You can begin by telling them you understand addiction is not easy to manage and they must be struggling immensely with their drug or alcohol addiction.

1. Outline Specific Examples of Their Substance Abuse and How It Has Affected You

The next step in writing an intervention letter is giving specific examples of how your loved one’s substance abuse has negatively affected you. General statements, such as, “Your addiction is hurting the family,” are not as effective as making specific observations, such as, “You have been unable to work or contribute to the bills since you’ve started using cocaine.” Preparing with specific examples reduces the likelihood that your loved one will be in denial of the negative impact of their addiction.

1. Show Them That You Have Done Your Research and Understand Their Addiction

Addiction can be extremely isolating, and your loved one may feel that no one understands what they are experiencing. Showing that you have researched addiction can help them feel understood. For instance, communicate to them that you understand addiction is a disease that requires treatment and is not a moral failing on their part.

1. Repeat Your Love and Concern Before Asking Them To Accept Help

Ultimately, the goal of an intervention letter is to convince your loved one it’s time to seek addiction treatment, but before encouraging them to accept help, it’s important to remind them one last time that you are coming from a place of love and concern. Here, it is helpful to write that you love and care about them and would like to see them seek treatment for their own health and well-being.

1. Clearly Define Consequences If Treatment Is Refused

Hopefully, your intervention letter will motivate your loved one to enter treatment and begin recovering from addiction. You must have consequences prepared if they do not accept help. In some cases, well-meaning family members may enable their loved one’s addiction by continuing to provide financial support and rescuing them from the consequences of their drug or alcohol misuse.

Now is the time to set boundaries and communicate that while you’d like to see your loved one accept help, if they choose not to, you cannot continue to provide money, emotional support or a place to stay while they maintain their path of addiction. Keep in mind that you are doing this because you love the person and do not want to continue enabling the addiction.

Additional Tips for Your Intervention Letter 

The following tips will help you learn how to write an intervention letter:

• Keep it short and sweet.
• Put yourself in your loved one’s shoes when brainstorming. It is important to acknowledge their suffering as well.
• Be sensitive and firm while avoiding angry, accusatory or condescending language.
• Do your research beforehand.
• Use “I” statements to help clarify how their actions affect others.
• Keep the letter positive, encouraging and supportive.

Example Intervention Letter

The following is a sample intervention letter from a friend:

Dear Charlie,

Thanks for letting me share and speak to you today. I know this is difficult, but there are a lot of things I need to tell you. To start, I’m very worried about your drug and alcohol use. It’s time for you to seek treatment.

Before you started drinking, we were so close. We would stay up all night talking about projects we wanted to start and planning the next big camping trip we would take. You were always there for me when I struggled with my relationship or was stressed about work. You were one person in my life I knew I could count on. I could tell you anything. But, since you’ve started drinking, I don’t see that person anymore. All I see is a pile of stress and health problems that continue to grow by the day. I almost never see you smile, and I don’t remember the last time we even laughed together.

I’m so worried that I’ll never hear from you again, that you’ll end up dead or in the back of a police car. I’m watching you wither away, and I truly want you to get healthy. As my best friend, I truly want to see you happy again. 

I know we’ve joked about getting treatment in the past, but the time has finally come. I truly hope you accept the opportunity to get the help you deserve. Addiction is a debilitating disease. It’s not your fault. Being under the influence changes who you are, what you think, what you love and what your priorities are. But, you don’t have to keep living this way. There is a medical treatment available because addiction is a medical disorder. The help you need does exist to allow you to overcome your addiction.

I want my old friend back. But, please, don’t just do this for me. Do it for yourself. And do it for everyone who came here today because they love you.

Just know that if you don’t choose to go to rehab, I won’t be able to see you or support you anymore. I know this hurts you, but it hurts me too. I’ve learned that by making up stories for you, giving you money and covering your shifts, I have only caused your addiction to worsen. I’ve done these things out of love, but now I realize they’re doing nothing more than hurting you. For that, I am sorry. If you choose not to go to rehab, I won’t be there to support you and help you out anymore.

But, if you do go to rehab, you have my word that I’ll be there for you fully throughout this process. I’ll stand by your side and help you any way I possibly can. You won’t be alone in this, I can promise you.

Whatever your decision, I just want you to know, I’ll always love you.

Finding Treatment for Your Loved One in Washington

If you’re holding an intervention for a loved one, it’s important to have treatment options lined up before you meet with them for the intervention. This allows you to provide them with rehab options on the spot, so they can begin treatment immediately following the intervention meeting.

For those in the state of Washington, The Recovery Village Ridgefield provides a full range of treatment options. We offer residential and partial hospitalization services and outpatient and aftercare programming. Our facilities include numerous amenities, including a staff of culinary professionals, on-site housekeeping services, designated smoking areas and scenic mountain views.

We are in-network with a range of insurance companies, including America’s Choice, First Choice and Aetna. Learn more about the insurance we accept by visiting our insurance page. Contact us today to get your questions answered and begin the admissions process.